I guess what I didn't realise is that testimony isn't just the story of how you gave your life to God, it doesn't end there, in fact it's only the beginning. My testimony is about the ups and the downs, how God has brought me through the tough times and rejoiced with me in the good times. It's about how I can stumble through the valleys and still come out praising God simply because He is.
My testimony is about the times when I've walked closely with God and about the times when, like now, I feel like the silence is deafening and I struggle to find God in the hard places.
Most of all I've realised my testimony is important. There are things that I've been through and wrestled with that I can talk to others about. It's about encouragement and honesty. It's about bringing people to a place where they can meet Jesus and ultimately it's about giving all glory to God who is able.
In John chapter 4 Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well and tells her that he knows she has had 5 husbands and that she is currently living with a man who is not her husband.
'So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, "Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?" They went out of the town and were coming to him... Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, "He told me all that I ever did."
John 4:28-30, 39
The woman's testimony wasn't extravagant, it was simple but powerful. It brought them to a place where they could meet Jesus.
I think that's the point, our testimony doesn't have to have the wow factor and it doesn't have to look like we have it all together. God uses the messy bits, the pieces of us we don't think will ever be put back together, he uses our hurt, our pain, our sin. Our testimony isn't about us at all but about God. Like the woman by the well it's about bringing people to a place where they could meet with Jesus and letting Him do the rest.