Saturday, 5 January 2013

A word for the year

Today marks 3 years of being ill. Anniversaries of this kind are hard, 3 years is a long time to be ill! It means I am in a completely different place to where I had envisioned I would be but that doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means that God is taking me on a new route.

I've read a couple of blogs in the past few days where they have picked one word for the year. This challenged me a lot and so I decided to think about and pray for a word of my own. So this year my word is going to be TRUST!

Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Trusting isn't something I'm very good at. The verse above asks me to trust in the Lord with all my heart, yet there always seems to be a part of me that wants to hold a little bit back just in case. It seems so ridiculous to write it! Just in case of what? That I'm right and God is wrong?!
I no longer want to hold onto part of my heart. I want to go from knowing in my head to actively all out trusting in God, no matter what the outcome.

This year I need to trust in God for my healing. I need to trust that He knows best how and when it is going to happen because I certainly don't. I need to trust Him whether He says "yes now" or "not yet". I want my prayer to be "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees" (Psalm 119:71)

I need to trust God with my future. I need to trust that He has my best interests at heart and I don't need to be anxious about anything.

I need to trust God with my degree, with my finances, with my living arrangements, with my family. I need to trust Him with my life, my heart, my everything.

I'm not saying that I'm going to get it right every time, I know that I won't. My prayer is that I will get it right more often, that it will strengthen my relationship with God, that it will encourage me to depend more on Him and less on myself. I know it will probably be a journey far different to how I envision but I hope that I can look back at the end of the year and say that I said yes to God more often than I said no and trusted him with the outcome.


  1. So I was wondering what your trust was like with people, especially ones closest to you?

  2. Jess, reading this gave me chills. I am going through some uncertainty in my life at the moment and you are right, it's fugging hard to put you all into G*d. It's hard to jump off that cliff head first. Why would I hold back, just in case I am are right and G*d isn't? It sounds silly but yeah, I do the same. I am praying hard so that I can trust Him more. I know he has a plan for me, but I worry sometimes, I get angry. I feel frightened. But I know He is watching for me and it will happen in good time. I hope you are doing better. Thanks for reminding me I need to trust.